Kaleidoscope

June was absolutely spectacular!

I know, saying that while lounging in the comforts of my room, clad in my favorite PJs and smelling faintly of Skin Food’s yummy Coffee & Sugar body scrub I love so much makes me feel like the biggest hypocrite. Truth is, June couldn’t have been more insane. I’m still suffering from bruises, blisters and sprains.

But I am unrepentant. If I had the chance – and I will, insyaAllah – I would do it all again.

For the most part, I have FRIM to thank for last month’s many exploits, both below and above sea level. My parents like to call it the perks of “working for the government”. Funny, I thought it was "bloody physiotherapy."

Pulau Redang, 5-8 June 2009

Everything started with a trip to Redang, organized and hosted by Kelab FRIM. Three days and two nights’ worth of snorkeling, island-hopping, barbecues, candat sotong and water adventures with Jogun & Bella the sea-diving monkeys left me feeling like I hadn’t a care in the world.

Redang had a convenient way of making me forget my troubles. All I could think of while on the island was getting off it, into the warm, clear blue that harbored corals and colorful fishes and sea cucumbers and monkeys. The nights were liquid and soothing. How could they not be when you’re lazily swinging in one of the many hammocks hung under the moonlight?

It was the kind of vacation I needed after two grueling months in FRIM, and it was a good chance for me to be with the family I’d been neglecting the past few months.

Gunung Angsi Research Expedition, 9-18 June 2009

My biggest nightmare which took place the day after my return from Redang, was a lot harder to swallow. I’d been forewarned by both supervisors and colleagues that this expedition wouldn’t be easy, but they insisted I should not be left behind.

Nor did I want to be. I’ve always wanted a life as an ecologist, and this would be the perfect opportunity to live one, even if only for a few short weeks.

We didn’t get to camp inside the Angsi reserve. Instead, we were stationed at an agriculture complex at the foothills and we would make our way up into our research plots everyday, shortly after dawn. The research transects were set at the slopes and ridges of the mountain about 300 to 500 meters up. Getting there was often an 80^o climb. I was crawling on my hands and knees just to keep from sliding into the valley below.

Day 1 on the transects nearly left me crying. I was thankful to my teammate Joann for patiently keeping me company during the slow climb, and for teaching me to process live bats – species identification, tagging, weighing, forearm measurements and DNA sampling. I had spent some time with my supervisor learning the basics of bat identification the night before, so I was happy to be able to immediately apply them.

Oh, but I was exhausted! My less-than-competent body was fast showing signs of strain. My screaming nerves and burning muscles were keeping me from sleep. All I could think of was the rest of the week, when I would have to endure the climb over and over again. Lying on a mite-ridden mattress that night, I repeated a supplication my mum taught me in times of peril: La ilaha illa anta subhanaka inni kuntu min azzalimin.

That prayer was my salvation. By the third day I was no longer thinking about going home. I found it easier to stop thinking altogether. Whenever we had to go into the forest, I’d tune out the journey by just looking down and focusing on my climb, reading that prayer whenever I could. Besides, I was getting the hang of bat identification, which I found immensely interesting. Joann was even confident enough to leave me alone to it by day 5 while she moved on to check on the other transects.

There was also geng burung, geng sungai, geng pokok, geng kelulut and geng kumbang with us. We were all using the same transects, all the easier for me to gain knowledge of other ecology research methods. I especially liked geng burung – whose colorful birds really make my day – and geng kelulut, who kept me in high spirits with their easy-going manner and positive outlook.

It was even more enjoyable on the last day, when the transects were soaked by heavy rain, and we were forced to climb up and down a muddy mountain. Every inch of my khaki pants were caked with mud and soil and tree saps from kneeling and sliding, and I had splinters in my hands from accidentally holding on to thorny rattans and sharp twigs. Not to mention the many unfortunate run-ins with kelingkiak, cengkenik, kutu babi and pacat ... Haish!

But you know what satisfied me most? We were waiting for our 4WD to take us back to base camp at the end of the day, when I noticed Dzamir from geng kelulut grinning wickedly at me. I had assumed, from my mud-ridden, sweat-soaked attire that he was laughing at my predicament. The following conversation ensues:

Dzamir: *grin* You're looking great, Sof!

Sofie: Sampai hati ko gelak..

Dzamir: *sober* I’m not laughing at you..

Sofie: Dah tu?

Dzamir: *grins again* Aku paling suka tengok orang berusaha. Ko banyak berusaha..

Joann: Kan? dan dia tak pernah cakap “tak nak.”

Sofie: ... Sebab aku tak nak menyesal..

Fauzan's Wedding, 20 June 2009

I hurt myself getting there.

We'd managed to complete the Angsi expedition and make it back to KL two days before the wedding. But the physical trauma from my exertions were showing one by one. I had sprained both knees, as well as my right ankle. I was bed-ridden for the better part of the next day and the simptoms were getting worse.

It was time to whip out my miracle drug.

By the time I made my way to the wedding that Saturday, my bloodstream was saturated with Ibuprofen, without which I couldn't even stand, let alone drive the three-hour stretch from KL to Ipoh. It was marvelous. I couldn't feel a thing.

Looking back though, I guess the drug had affected me in more ways than one. I wasn't only physically numb; my emotions also took a backseat. I had pictured it to be a rather somber, reflective drive. Instead, I was animatedly chatting with Ann the entire way there. Many times I saw Safura looking at me funny, but I thought nothing of it.

Fauzan's married. I should feel something, but I don't. So what?

We'd arrived late at the wedding hall. The bride and groom were nowhere to be seen, but I'd remembered Fauzan saying something about a costume change for the cake-cutting ceremony. The food was almost catered off the buffet tables by the time we got there, so we took whatever was available. Don't ask me what I had at the wedding though; to this day I could not remember...

We were done with food by the time the bride and groom graced the hall. Ann and I stayed put, hoping Fauzan would look for us in the crowds somehow. But alas, he and Hidayah were drowned out by professional photographers snapping pose after pose. Fauzan was oblivious, so immersed in apparent bliss that he didn't see us inching closer and closer to the stage, my camera poised to capture his moment of realization.

But when he did realize our presence, I couldn't take the picture.

He had this utterly shocked look on his face. I smiled, and the shock mellowed into something else. It was like seeing relief, mixed with warmth and gratitude and sadness and.. something else I couldn't explain. Suddenly it was painful, so I immediately tried lightening things up by asking the couple to pose.

Ah, the darn painkiller was starting to wear off. I was starting to feel again..

Fauzan was being dragged everywhere for pictures, which left him very little time for us. I wish I had the chance to talk to him, but since that wasn't possible, I settled on seeing him happy. He seemed to be having the time of his life, and his happiness heaved a great boulder off my chest. I wished the rest of BTB were there for the occasion. Having just me and Ann present really made it a strange excursion.

We somehow left the wedding in an indescribable mood. I was starting to ache all over; a sign that my painkillers were waning. By the time I'd reach home, I was limping off my right ankle and feeling very grumpy for reasons unknown. I was disappointed I wasn't able to get many pictures with the Couple of the Hour. Even more disappointed when I couldn't load it onto the computer..

But, I will always hold on to that expression Fauzan had when he saw us. It wasn't completely readable, but it was clear enough to let me know that everything will be alright.