Monday, 10 May 2010

First thump..

I don’t know you, but I want you all the more for that.

Falling slowly
by Glen Hansard

I had my first crush when I was nine.

We grew up together, both our parents being foresters. He shared my interest in nature, often coming with me on various excursions through the sprawling woods of the research institute we both call home.

To him I dedicated my very first love note, which offered the naive, simple words: Kita sayang awak.. I was a tad nervous, but I guess I’d somehow overlooked the outcome. He and I were great friends, what was the worst that could happen? He’d probably call me silly and laugh himself to death for a bit, but by the time we get to planning our next afternoon meandering, everything should have been forgotten..

Or not.

I found out that day, my buddy-turned-crush had a penchant for dramatics. In front of what felt like a million classmates, he made a show of shredding my note to pieces before literally throwing it in my face. 20 years later and my ears still rang with the simple words that came after: Cuba cermin sikit..

His gang was in stitches; my girlfriends were irate.

First taste of rejection: complete.

Lesson 1: Hearts do not belong on sleeves.