Off track!

First of all, I blame my current theme on the new, slightly-improved Designer button Blogger's currently sporting on my dashboard..

Like my cyber abode's new look, other changes are abound in my life at the moment. Lots of going places; not all of them business. Plenty of new experiences to be found; not all of them pleasant. For a few months now, my life has been anything but routine. There are weeks of dull nothingness, and then one weekend would leave me breathless. My mind toggles three ways:

work, study, home = career, education, family = money, knowledge, life.

Forgoing any one of these is impossible, but pursuing all of them could mean the death of me.

Could being the operative word here..

There seems to be a distinct line between earning a living and getting a decent education, at least where Malaysia is concerned. For instance, I've spent the past three weeks up in Penang attending classes and academic discussions. It's been almost two years since I last step foot in a lecture hall, and the experience left me feeling strangely... unfit?

Working life seems to have stripped me of most of my studious capabilities! I lost focus in class and fumbled through tutorials. My usually nimble tongue faltered on more than one occasion, brought on by a sudden fear of heaven knows what. Lit reviews became excruciating, not to mention the labwork. I was starting to grow envious of my full-time-student coursemates. All the time in the world to focus on just one thing.

But I guess working has its own selfish perks, no? Financial freedom is a large part of that. Add a wider social structure and a stable life routine, and most people would be content to simply leave education behind. Or at least be tempted to.

My choices are meager. I'm not yet an employee; not really a student. I'm just stuck somewhere in between doing everything I could to please both sides of it. It's starting to wear me down a bit, but I suppose like everything else, I'll manage. What doesn't kill me can only make me stronger, right? So pray I stay alive long enough to find out..